she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
