Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
