Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
