I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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