the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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