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We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
