dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
