I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
