that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
