Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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