Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
