Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
