I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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