I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
