She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this boner is exhausting
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
