Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
