Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
dude. I can hear the air.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
