I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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