So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Randomize