We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
