you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
