we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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