So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize