i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
