If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
