She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
