Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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