Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
