If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
