Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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