She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
