i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
