I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
