Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
