Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
