No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We just shotgunned beers for America
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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