hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
