He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
