how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
