"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
