Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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