after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
