My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
