At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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