i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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