When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
this is an emotional support booty call
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize