i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
