i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
