my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
