I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
