I can tuck mytits in my pants
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
