I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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