my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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