im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
