Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
