I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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