I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
