I look better un-naked...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
