There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
