Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
