just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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