We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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