Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
